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[14 Nov 2007|04:58pm] |
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 infuriated |
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What a horrible day...
This morning I woke up at 9am so I can watch my grandmother so my mom and aunt could go run errands. So I was tired all day. Around noonish the tow truck driver came to my house to pick up my car. I was donating it purple heart. It was getting to costly to maintain. As the tow truck driver was pulling away, my heart sank. I was never going to see that car again. I have alot of memories with that car. It was my first taste of freedom and because of it I've meet so many people and been so many places. I stood there watching the integra being pulled away until I couldn't see it anymore. It was sad to see the car go.
I was on my way to school and I got pulled over by the police. They said I wasn't wearing my seatbelt even though I was. He said "well you're wearing it now." I would love to ruin him and his family. Now I have to pay 60 dollars for a lying cop. I wouldn't have this problem if I was driving my integra because it has automatic seatbelts.
I'm developing this irrational hate for the world.
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[19 Oct 2007|09:02pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Yuhiki Kuramoto - Romance for Piano |
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I'm currently in my garage on my laptop trying to get away from everyone. I'm listening to music and trying to calm my ass down a little bit. It feels like my lungs and heart are aching and trying to leap out of my chest.
I never did learn how to play an instrument, or learn how to play a sport well when I was little. Now that I'm grown odds of me learning anything like that are pretty slim. If I had all the time in the world I would pick up countless of instrements. Such as the guitar, piano, violin ect. Or I would learn jeet kun do, karate, xing yi or wushu. But I don't have that time or money to dedicate myself to an instrument or discipline.
When I was young I begged my parents to let me learn a martial art or an instrument. They wouldn't let me. Thats what sucks about being a middle child. My youngest brother plays soccer and plays the trumbone and the guitar. My two oldest siblings got to learn tae kwon do when they were younger. And my sister knows how to play the piano. I really feel like they had no money left for my next older brother an me but when we grew up there was money and time to spend on my little brother.
Now that I'm grown and have a job, I can't ask for money from my parents to pursue a hobby. I'm so frustrated with my younger self for not pushing my parents hard enough or fighting harder for something. I wish I wouldn't dwell on my past but its difficult seeing my present situation.
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[18 Oct 2007|02:12am] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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On my drive home today I was on the phone with Rich and Kelly. I was just sitting there thinking about stuff they were saying. It just kinda got me down. Cold feet and shit like that.
I still don't know if I'm DJing at Youmacon yet.
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[14 Oct 2007|01:14am] |
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music |
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Vinh Demo 10-13-07 |
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I finished my demo set last night. I was up late trying to finish it because Will needed to present it to the staffers at Youmacon. I'm excited for whats going to happen next. I put it up on rapidshare. I need feedback from people. So friends, please download and comment on what you think of my demo. It's a preview of what I'll be spinning at Youmacon. I'm getting some good feedback from the few people that have heard it but I need more input. I'm trying to make a Japanese and Western fusion set. I'm trying to stay away from anime remixes and using real Japanese house music or remixed music of J-pop. Something these weaboos haven't heard. I want them to go "whats the name of this song!?"
Here's my set. PLEASE DOWNLOAD AND COMMENT!
http://rapidshare.com/files/62188476/Vinh_Demo_10-13-07.mp3.html
I still need a DJ name...
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[08 Oct 2007|02:42am] |
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mood |
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Youmacon is less than a month away and still no final word of when and if I'll be spinning at the dance. Will was pretty certain that I would be DJing. There was talk on the Youmacon forums that the DJ roster was full. I still don't have a DJ name and its proly better that I don't. It would proly be something goofy as hell and I wouldn't be able to get away from that name. I don't wanna hear that paratech shit at Youmacon or Rammstein. WTF is that shit? If they want the dance or the con to get any credibility they need to spin for real or go listen to that stupid ass shit at home. I know I don't have experience DJing yet but I know what kinda music will get people to dance. Just remember back to Will's Acen party. The playlist that I compiled with the help of friends made that party the shit.
I'm gonna ask Amanda if I can spin my set at her Halloween party. I to test my skills before the con and Amanda's party is the perfect place to do it. Some of her friends are DJ's also so they can tell me if I sucked and what I need to work on. If I do suck 200 otaku aren't going to be talking crap about my set. I'm pretty much set equipment wise for the set. I'll be borrowing headphones and a laptop from Rob. I just hope I can plug my shit into a mixer so I can control the sound. The next few weeks are going to be stressful trying to practice for Youmacon.
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[14 Sep 2007|11:52pm] |
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mood |
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scared |
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music |
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Ne-Yo - Because Of You (sunfreakz remix) |
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Last night was terrifying. I had several episodes of sleep paralysis. It when I'm awake but I can't move. It happens right after I fall asleep. I wake back up but I can't move or speak. All I can do is breath and even then it's very difficult to breath. This isn't the first time it's happened to me but is still extremely frightening. I've been having episodes since I was in middle school. I often see shadows or figures moving in the room. There is this noise that gets louder and louder until its excruciating. When it happens I know what to do. I try to tune everything out and I relax my body for a few seconds. Then I do something I learned from martial artists. I gather all my energy and strength and put it in one limb and then I release all that energy at once as a punch, kick or any kind of movement. One time when I did this I punched the wall next to my bed and left my knuckles sore.
I'm so tired becuase I couldn't sleep last night and I worked. Even though I'm so tired I'm afraid to go to sleep right now. It sometimes happens a couple nights in a row. Researchers say that sleep paralysis is linked to narcolepsy, panic attacks and sleep disorders. I gonna need to see a doctor about it soon. Last night was the worst it has ever happened. It didn't just happen once it happened several of times throughout the night. It was horrifying...
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[06 Sep 2007|01:35am] |
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mood |
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 dorky |
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Went to Columbus for Labor Day weekend, It was great. I don't think it could have gone any better than it did. Arnell was an awesome host for letting everyone sleep at his place. I also have to thank Rich, Lee, Adam and John for the great time and listening to my cover of Brother Louie. The drive home was sobering though. I wish it was a week long vacation rather than just a weekend.
I've been practicing my DJ set for Youma-Con. John just gave me some good J-house stuff. That will spice up my set for sure. I'm just scared out of my mind that I'm going to train wreak on stage. Only a couple more months till then. I still haven't recorded a demo for Will yet. He wants to know what I'm spinning in place of his set. I let the Chicago people listen to a chunk of my set in Columbus. Maybe they can vouch for me.
I saw a cute Asian girl at Meijer today. Nothing happened, I just saw her. Just would like to make a note of it.
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[12 Aug 2007|12:06am] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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Work owned me today. I was working with Mr. Cho and The new girl. Most of the day Mr. Cho was sitting in the back playing Go and me and Ja were working in the front. Ja is nice but she doesn't know alot of stuff yet. I was all over the place. It felt like I was the only one working. The A/C busted about an hour before closing. Thats when it got the most hectic. Everyone wanted weave right before we closed. I was dripping with sweat going back and forth between customers. While driving home I felt like throwing up. Wasn't a bad day, it was just a really busy day.
I wanted to release some stress after work but I didn't feel like driving anywhere. I have no one to hang out with in my area anymore after Angela left and I don't enjoy the company of the people around here anymore.
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[15 Jun 2007|11:57pm] |
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mood |
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I bought a couple koi for the pond my dad put in. They died today and I went to get some replacements for them. I love koi.
Yesterday I had an anxiety attack for the later part of the day. I was breathing a little heavy for no apparent reason and this sinking/heavy feeling in my chest that I just wanted to go away. The fact that my boss was in the backroom yelling at someone across the phone didn't help. I put on my MP3 player and turned up the volume until I couldn't hear anything else. I put on some trance music and put up stock. This was the only time I've ever wanted to stock shit rather than do anything else in the shop. I was in my own little world. I calmed down and felt better. But as soon as I took off those ear buds to help a customer, that feeling came back. It was frustrating.
After work I went to pick up my little brother from a end of school year party. I told him not to speak because I didn't want to hear about it. He stayed silent for the car ride home. When I got home I sat and watched my koi for a half hour and I calmed down. I look at the statue of Mary and asked for her help. I ate a little and went on the computer for a while. I tried to go to sleep at 10p.m. but I got heartburn while lying in bed. While I lied there I started contemplating ways I could commit suicide like pills, hanging, crashing my car and the obligatory slitting of the wrists. I was tossing and turning. I was freaking out. I frantically searched for my rosary and I started to pray. Then I started crying. I calmed down. I got up went to the kitchen and made a sandwich. For some reason I wanted one. I sat my ass in front of the TV and watched family guy.
I have abandonment issues ever since I was a little kid. Getting lost at the store might have started it. There was this time where my big brother drove off without me as a joke at Kroger. My parents leaving me with my uncle and aunt in Michigan while they got ready to move here from Houston. Losing my friends at the mall. Finding myself all alone in a laser tag maze. Friends not visiting me when I moved to Brownstown. Even when my friends went to the bar to drink without me. It causes me great anxiety. This is why I freaked out at Acen when all my friends left me at a party all by myself with strangers. My way of responding to the anxiety is anger. Some people know what I mean. It still doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
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[12 Apr 2007|01:58am] |
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SAFRI DUO - ADAGIO |
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I haven't written in this in a while. I had to write something in here right now. I donno if its lack of sleep or what. I feel so horribly depressed right now. It got worse throughout the day. I guess a part of it is the lack of communication between me and my friends. I'm not blaming my friends. It's all on me. I listen to almost everyone elses problems and I never really express any of mine. The last time I did was after ohayocon and I was a mess.
On April 14th I'm going to New Peking to eat Ja Jang Myun with single people to "celebrate" our singldom.
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[07 Dec 2006|04:13am] |
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mood |
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 enraged |
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I just read a grotesque spin of a story about soldiers in Iraq. It boggles my mind of how personal opinion or personal politics can warp a persons logic. I just have to say that no one has to right to take the life of an innocent person nor is it ever okay. That's why murderers go on trial. If justice prevails is another story. I can't belive I have to write this. It's four in the morning and I just had to get it out somehow. Theres no one to talk to at this hour so I had to write it or I wouldn't be able to sleep right.
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[15 Nov 2006|02:29am] |
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mood |
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I went to Youma-con last week. It was a lot more crowded than it was last year. I'm positive that there will be even more people than last year and that they will need to move to a bigger venue. People actually took my picture when I was in my white mage outfit. I never did get to flirt with the girls. One girl was talking to me while I was playing her at Tekken 5. She asked me how old I was and I said 20 and shes like "You're old." I asked her how old she was and she said 15. I said "Damn! you're a youngin." Yeah fuck that noise.
Next up is Ohayo-con. I can't wait till then. I really wanted my friend Alex to go but he says cons aren't his thing. Heh! His friends don't know how to party at a con. I'll keep nagging him up until the day I leave for Ohio.
I still haven't been scheduled for work yet at EB. My boss says that he'll get me in before Black Friday. I wanna get familiar with everything before all the holiday rush comes.
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[31 Oct 2006|03:30am] |
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BeForU - TEARS EK |
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I got a new job at EB Games. Was hired on the spot and the manager is already talking about wanting to keep me after the holidays. I get my schedule on Wednesday.
Amanda's Halloween party was pretty cool. It was nice seeing her again, especially in a skimpy maid outfit. Met some cool people. Now I can say I know people from Japan. Takuji was very talkative but his friend Ito was very quiet. Everyone was trying very hard to get him drunk. But a fart bomb almost killed the party. There was a revival when Amanda busted out twister. Funstuff! I spilled stuff on my white mage cloak and it wreaks of cigarettes. It needs to be washed before Youmacon. Can't wait till then.
I can't wait till Youmacon this weekend. I want to do some cool shit this year rather than just watching lame people dance at the rather sucky dance and listen to sob stories. Hopefully I can flirt with women that I have no chance with and have some fun this time.
Another chunk of my exhaust system fell off a couple days ago. The noise now is unbearable. Everything from the catalytic converter back is gone. Whoever did the welds on my exhaust system sucked. I'm getting it fixed tomorrow. Almost 200 bucks to get it fixed. Performance exhaust for my car are expensive and hard to find. I have to settle for a OEM replacement.
So a PS3 might be out of the question now.
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[29 Sep 2006|02:31am] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Rei Kondoh - The Tribe of Heavenly Gods' Theme |
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I downloaded the soundtrack for the game Okami. The music is beautiful. I wish I could find the words to describe it. If the game is as good as the musical scores, this game will be phenomenal. I can't wait to play it.
The Japanese have some awesome symphonic composers once you get past Nobuo Uematsu. He has a few gems but there is so much more out there. Japanese and Korean classical music has a much different sound than from Western classical. I'm talking about the more contemporary stuff.
Henry Ford annulled this semesters classes for me because I couldn't pay my tuition quick enough. I guess its for the best any ways because half my classes I didn't need any ways because I just had to find classes to fill up my 12 credit hours. All the classes I wanted were filled up because of a error on the cashiers dept. made. I couldn't register until the day before classes started. It was really unprofessional on their part. They forgot to clear my financial status from last year.
In the process of finding a 2nd job to pay for tuition for next semester. Plus I have to get out of the beauty supply business. My parents were talking about my sister's recent promotion to assistant manager at Verizon. Knowing my sister she has promotion written all over her so she'll be in upper management in no time. She has been working there less than 2 years and she is at a position with people that have more than 10-15 years experience under their belts. I get the lecture from my parents of how come I can't do that?
I'm pretty much manager at the beauty supply but that pretty much means I'm the one who gets called on to get grunt of an angry black woman's fury. So that means saying "Sorry, that's policy" over and over until she demands to see the owner. Then I get ripped a new one for not handling the situation myself. WOOOO! Fun shit! Oh and I call the cops if shit gets physical.
Thinking about moving out with Sabiha and Kelly for a very cheap price. Seriously thinking about it.
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[11 Sep 2006|02:35am] |
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SPITZ - nagareboshi |
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GOD OF POWER AND MERCY . . . you hold us up when we are weak and give us courage to overcome our fears. Banish violence and cruelty from our midst. Rescue the souls of those who have died. Wipe away our tears and comfort those who grieve the death of loved ones. Guide our President and the leaders of our nation who seek a just response to acts of terrorism. Protect our citizens through the intercession of our Blessed Mother Mary. Help us work together for justice and lasting peace so we might eliminate the causes of violence in our country and our world. Let all people live together in peace and mutual respect. We ask this through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
I say this prayer every Sunday at mass. I've recited it so much that I've pretty much memorized it. I don't have to read it from the insert in the back inside cover of the book anymore. It's almost become protocol. Today though I started crying when I recited it in church today. It's really been five years...
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[08 Sep 2006|12:26am] |
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New Layout! Mikos are teh hawt!
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[07 Sep 2006|11:37pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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SPITZ - TEKUTEKU |
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Wow its been a long ass time since I've written in this. A lot of shit has happened.
All I can think of is Tennessee. It was a fun trip seeing the sites and regretting not getting airsoft guns at dirt cheap prices. Oh and kid on a leash.
I've been really bummed about not finding music I want. The most disappointing thing is I can't find Japanese trance or house on vinyl. What the fuck are these Japanese DJs' spinning?! Makes me think that the Japanese club scene is really lame. T
Though I did have 2 great music finds recently. Yui is one of them. I think she won a record contract American Idol style or something. Downloaded her album and its really awesome. Kinda like Michelle Branch style. For the lame ass people out there that have to associate Japanese music with anime, she sung the theme for Bleach. I didn't find this out until I downloaded the CD.
The other one is Spitz. I think I have all their cds. Their music is amazing. They sound like the pillows but they do a lot more shit. You can tell they were influenced by The Beatles. Rock, punk, ska, and some bossa stuff too. I love their music. Best find since Asian Kung Fu Generation.
Last night I had a very odd dream. For a chunk of the dream I was a secret agent going around Amsterdam trying to find something, I run into Method Man and Red Man, and party with them. Then I'm following Method and Red inside a dormitory when I girl opens the door and screams with excitement! I though it was because of Method Man and Red Man but she pulls me into her room saying shes been waiting for me. For some reason it felt like I knew the girl. She pulls me into her friends room and she starts to hug and kiss me. I go along with it and we start to cuddle. It felt really awesome but she takes off her shirt and wants to fuck. I'm like what the hell!? I go along with it and we start making out. Then I look around the room and notice her friend was polishing a hand gun. On her dresser was a m16 assault rifle and on the wall was a heavily modified mac10 sub-machine gun. I stop making out with the girl on my lap and yell "Wait! What exactly is going on here." Then I hear a radio and I wake up. It was my alarm clock. FUCK! I thought to myself. Just when it was getting interesting I wake up.
I'm sick too.., BLAH!@
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[20 Jun 2006|12:27pm] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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Paradise Go!!Go!! - Aono Kanata#3 |
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I've had this song play through all my dreams all last night. When I first heard it for the first time yesterday, I didn't think it was that good of a mix. It's pretty much System F's song Airwave with Japanese vocals mixed in. I can't find out who Aono Kanata is. I found it here.
http://www.shinydevil.com/download_Folder/Faraway.zip
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vinhqvu's journal
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